All I feel is light and light is all I feel. There is a band of white across my snout. It says good morning good morning good morning good morning and I want to give her the light but I couldn’t
Licking her face and she mumbles she’s mumbling “No. Nooooo-oooo” but I keep at it stubbornly, giving her all my love, telling her it’s morning, thinking does she know it’s morning does she know she can’t because if she did she would be
Now we are awake as one and the light chases us because we move. It is on her foot and I lick her foot to catch the light. I can’t get the light. Why can’t I get the light? I ask her but she doesn’t hear. She thinks I want food and ohmygod I do I want food and I didn’t know until she knew. How does she know she always knows.
Feed feed I am eating and crunching and snuffling and sucking up every morsel and it feels like it will never end and I will never have enough and then it is gone, it all, I search the bowl and it is empty. I look at her, imploring, begging, but she doesn’t answer back. She never answers back but she knows.
She eats slowly, gracefully, like if she goes too fast someone will come and say You’ve had enough now like she says to me when and they’ll take it away and she’ll say No and try to stop them but she can’t stop them. She eats like they are watching her and she knows she must be slow, knows she must be slow. I forget her slowness mission, I must for a moment, I drop my precious ball upon her. Ughhhhh she says and wipes my saliva off it her foot. Why can’t you wait just one second you dumb dog
But it is not long, I am not forgotten I am not lost and she throws it in an arc, a gorgeous motion, an effortless motion she has had so much practice and I dive headlong into oblivion, I fetch the ball it’s mine it’s all mine and I careen headfirst into the bush to retrieve my prize. It waits for me in a tangle of branches and I snatch it and I daub it in my slobber and I take it back to her because I love you I love you so much nothing is only for me, I must share with her she must know I
It was hours, it was a few minutes under the hot sun. I fall at her feet, I fawn, I nestle my shaggy head into her leg and I lie.